I beg your pardon, but I am different!

Sometimes I wonder if is it a sin to like something different? Different preference of hairstyle, clothing, interests, or even thoughts and understanding/perception.

Lately, ever since I-, no, not lately. How should I say this? For example, I like to keep my hair long. It has been like this ever since, no matter what other people say. Stubborn, maybe, but this is me, this is what I like, so what! You have no idea how I felt when a high school junior came to me and say, 'I know you,' because my long hair made me stand out in the school yearbook. Not that I wanted to show off or anything, but it makes people feeling better when they are different from others. Is that so bad to be different then?

I don't know why people always criticise my preferences. Although, most of you out there don't. Why is it that *you have to scowl or frown when I like things that you don't? Is it so bad that I like boy bands better than single artists? Is it bad that I enjoy reading mangas, comics, fanfictions, and novels? What's wrong in being a fan of Korean, Japanese, or whatever other celebrities? It's not like I'm obsessed with them, I simply wanted to share my preference with people I am closest with. And come on, who wouldn't get over excited over things they like!

Some time ago, I had been told a series of time that I have bad taste in music just because that someone don't like my kind of music. Fine. I took those words in the first time. Then, the second. And comes the third, fourth, fifth, and on and on. I mean, give me a break! Is it so wrong that I like DBSK and KAT-TUN, and instead of just BSB or N'Sync?!

Sure, they are Koreans and Japanese and I don't understand they are saying but, hey, at least that will motivate me to learn other languages (P/S: I've always want to learn other languages but rarely motivated). Not to mention, they are really talented!

Okay, never mind that. I'm not here to preach about them, just gotten sidetrack.

In a nutshell, is my taste in music so bad that it is worth talking about? And secondly, what in your guts (or something else) does my preferences had to do with *you?! Step back and stay back! And as much as I hated this phrase, here's it for *you: 'You like, I like'!

(P/S: *you - that someone)

Wah...

Wah.... gomenasai! I haven't blogged for ages! A lot had happen since the last entry. Well, 1 semester had passed and *sigh* I had to repeat but things are not half as bad. That's all for now I guess. Till later....

Emo Me vs. Logical Me, Episode 1 - Exam's over!!!

April 28, 2008, 3.20pm.

Emo Me: "Yes! Woohoo...! I'm finally out of the place!" (Jumping & dancing like crazy)

Logical Me: "That's great! Now we can get rid our migrains! So, how did it go?"

Emo Me: (Stop dancing, looking uncertainly at Logical Me) "I don't know...I don't really understand the terms in the questions. But who cares!" (Start dancing maniacally again) "No more exams!!!" (Stop for a while) "Well, maybe until a few months later, yeah...!!!!" (Continued dancing)

Logical Me: "Ahem" (poked 3 times on Emo Me) "Sorry to burst your bubble...Do you realise that you'll have to the whole of first year if you fail?!"

Emo Me: (Stop dancing abruptly) (Wailed loudly) "Why can't you just stop reminding me...?"

Logical Me: "I'd love to, honey, but I can't. If I don't remind you, we'll both be fried!"

Emo Me: (Crying out loud) "Waaaahhhh...!!!! Why me....?!!!!!!"

Logical Me: (Sigh defeatedly and muttered) "It's not like we can change that now... I've really got to get us organised...or we'll be dead meat" (Sigh again, rubbing temple) "If I'd listen to me" (shaking head)

Emo Me: "Waaaaaahhhhhhh..............!!!!!

Logical Me: (Sigh!)

Aftermath of April's Fool

Hey,

How's ur April's Fool?

A friend of mine sent an SMS to me & a few other classmates & told us her hostel caught fire in the middle of the night. But sadly, I was very well aware that she sent it on a very early April's Fool morning. So, I went to college as usual as if nothing's happen, waiting for her to ask about the message.

As expected, she asked me during our break. I backfired her Fools by pretending that I haven't gotten any news. She walked right into the lie...probably thought that I had no reasons to tell her a lie. Boy, was she wrong!

Then, I cut into her 'speech' before she could tell me that she had tried to fool me, by saying April Fool.

And then, I told her that I actually received the message...

Amnesia...

I hate it when it happened.

I can never seems to remember the important things. Small things like duties & homework...

Is it a medical condition or just the nature of Man?

Memories that I desperately hang on to but it always slip away. Hearing them once and it was snatched away from my thoughts the next second. Memories that I want freedom from seem to come back to me in the most inappropriate time.

I hate it when it happened...

Emo Gal...

I seriously do not know what is wrong with me...

Maybe it was the weather, stupid hot & stuffy weather, or was it because of health problem.

Since I came back from Genting Highlands, from the leader's camp, my throat's been uncomfortable.

Or maybe it was the things that I've gone through last year...

A friend asked me how have I've been this two years yesterday, and I find that I can't really recall anything except for the recent depressing happenings in my life. (So, I'm really sorry if I bored him...) I know that there are exciting things that I've been through for the past years. Argk! I think I've got to get my head checked.

I also think I really got a problem...

I sounded so okay when everyone asked about my dad...maybe it was because I don't know how to handle his death. Living in denial and all...

Everytime people send condolenses, I just casually shrugged and said, "Yea...it was ok... We've been preparing for it..." and stuff like that. My parents had separated some years ago... I can live for a fact that my dad no longer live with us. But to know and to have to live for a fact that he is no longer living was just so hard, disregarding him being an irresponsible husband and father.

Sometimes I wonder why I still cry and mourn for him... Personally, I wanted to give him a good smashing for making my sister and I to go through such pain and for betraying mom. But seeing him looking so fragile... I just can't do such a thing. Well, even if he is well and alive...

Mom didn't want anyone to know my dad died. For what reasons... I don't know... so what am I gonna tell people who asked about him? But then again, I've already made my choice. So what if the whole damn world knows?! It's not like they cared!

So sorry to those people who sincerely cared for me if I became reserved. The truth is I just wanted to find a place to truly hide. If possible...I just want to die but I've too much to live for and too much to give up. Everyday I lived as if he has never existed but I can't lie to myself. I wouldn't be here in the first place. I wouldn't have met great friends... Friends in church... Yvonne, Irene, Jenny, and friends I came to know like William (thanks to Adrian), Elaine, Chugan, Liew, and a lot more.

Even though I'm in pain, I know and I had to keep reminding myself that there is a BIG GUY way up there looking out for me lest I strayed away... Yea, the only Father I have left after dad left us.

Til death do us part

"Forgive me... Please forgive me..." A man said, standing near the entrance of a memorial hall.

"Forgive me..." He said to his two daughters now in his arms. Both who were forced to suffer the consequences of the mistake he made in his youth.

It was surely a painful day for him on that day. It was a memorial day for his eldest son who died of cancer.

After a few years, the two girls were reunited with their father. For him, to have a gleams of him, they ventured into a place where they don't belong. To a funeral of a family but yet a stranger.

A family reunion ought to be a joyous occasion, right? But not this.

After a few years without a news from their father, they finally heard of their father's conversion into Christianity. On his death bed. He claimed that he had seen God or rather Jesus and was given a second chance to make things right again.

The three of them embraced with tears flowing down their faces. To the girls it seems like a dream come true, a prayer answered. It was almost like a dream to see their father praising The Most High, they silently pray that this will last because...their father's days are numbered.

Months after months, their father's condition got worse until one fateful day, he finally breathe his last.

Dear friends, you may not have a life of a broken family or maybe yours may be breaking. Remember this that we are forever bounded as a family. Appreciate one another before it's too late. Christians do believe that death is another chapter of life, not the end. But think about those whose and one of their families are not believers in Christ. When death comes they will be eternally separated.